A couple of weeks ago I was listening to a friend who was talking about his job. Almost everything seemed wrong: the boss, the colleagues, the salary and the contents of the job itself. He was really disappointed and bothered. He felt himself like a “lion in cage”, I was so sorry for his bad mood.

After a bit of time, I started to wonder what I could do to support him somehow. Let’s call it “my professional deformation”… So, at the end, I asked him if he would like to look for a new job.

He naturally said: “Actually, I’m good there!”.

….

His answer surprised me a lot, especially after having been listening to his complaints for hours… but he confirmed: he didn’t want to look for a new job. Summarizing, he preferred to stay in a well-known place (even if uncomfortable), rather than looking for a new job (maybe more comfortable).

Why?

Because the “maybe” makes the difference. Fear to change, need for security, lack of certainty were holding him back. His uncomfort zone had become his comfort zone and even if he wasn’t happy at work, he felt protected enough to convince himself to stay there.

There are many people who accept their (un)comfort zone due to their need for security, I understand their point of view as well as I respect their decision. However, I wonder:  while they accept the situation with full awareness, if their choice is coherent with their values and needs, why do they complain almost all the time?

That’s what I don’t understand.

Complaining is not the solution, it’s not a healthy sport or a good topic for a free-time conversation.

It could be a way to vent frustration, but if you’re frustrated you could have a real problem to solve. Isn’t it?

It’s up to you to establish the most suitable working place for yourself and if you decide to accept a compromise… remember what moved you to accept it. If it’s not worth anymore, it’s time to stop complaining and dare a bit.

Seneca said: “It’s not because things are difficult that we do not dare, it is because we do not dare that they are difficult”.

You could be surprised about how many alternatives there are around you, it’s just an issue to be brave and take flight.

 

Enza Artino,
International Service Manager c/o Wyser; Coaching Competence Center Manager c/o Gi Group